Guess Who's Coming To Breakfast?
by PCJT08
Summary: Joseph's breakfast with his son is interrupted by two familiar strangers.
1. Chapter 1

It was a perfect summer morning for Joseph Joestar. The sun was shining, the bird chirping was quieter than normal, and Shizuka, having recently learned to walk, wasn't initiating a surprise game of difficult hide and seek. He began the day as he always did since his ripple training in his youth, starting with some light morning stretching exercises. His exercising did not go unobserved by the baby, who giggled as she watched the senior easily perform toe touches. Though he kept the appearance of a frail 80 year old man, his mental and some of his physical fortitude was as strong as it was forties. Even his cane, while helpful during long periods of standing, was unnecessary. It was no coincidence that everyone thought he was going stiff and senile right around when his family discovered his act of unfaithfulness so many years ago. It was another clever ploy to run away from danger and conflict he felt was unnecessary. The instances where his son, Josuke, would drop the offishness to make sure he was okay were a nice bonus of these fake displays of aging, as well.

Today, Joseph hoped he would be lucky enough to experience Josuke's care, as they planned to get breakfast at a cafe owned by one of his son's friends. It was a miracle that it was happening at all - Josuke hadn't contacted him nor Jotaro in months. He had even visited Morioh a few times prior since first meeting Josuke last year under the guise of searching for Shizuka's parents, but he was really just hoping that his son would take the opportunity to visit with him. In those five visits, this was the first that Josuke finally reached out. The old man picked up the baby and spoke, matching her smiling face, "I knew he wanted to meet with me, deep down. See Shizuka, sometimes we just need to be patient!"

Shizuka, having no idea what he said, pointed at him and responded with a giggle, "Paysh!"

One of the many attendants employed by the Speedwagon Foundation knocked at his hotel door, and they began walking toward the car outside.

"Remember what I told you, now. Absolutely no harming, writing in, or tearing out any of Mr. Joestar's pages." Josuke said sternly to Rohan Kishibe, who was walking beside him, "If you break any of those rules, I'll smash your face so hard that even Crazy Diamond couldn't fix it."

Rohan scoffed at the threat, but understood and belived the deadly seriousness of it, "Relax. I'm not some cruel monster who would harm an elderly man. I just want his story of what happened to him and Jotaro in 1987. I know you're curious, too."

After Rohan had caught wind of Jotaro's adventure in Egypt, he absolutely couldn't avoid transcribing the fifty day journey around the world, fighting assassins and vampires with crazy powerful stand abilities, into manga stories for his readers. However, when he asked Jotaro to tell him all about it, the guy only said, "The old man, some friends, and I had to travel to Egypt to kill a bastard named DIO. That's about it." Despite Rohan's pleas to go into further detail, the best he had squeezed out beyond that was, "Oh, we had a dog with us, too." Rohan could have used Heaven's Door, but there's no way Jotaro would have agreed to that, and a forced reading on him would be suicide. So naturally, the mangaka went for the next best option: exploit Josuke and his elderly father. All he had to do was tell Josuke he would pay handsomely for the 'interview' and the information would be his.

Rohan assumed that Josuke was a no good son for agreeing to have his own father's secrets be exposed for money, but Josuke had wildly different expectations of what was to go down. The old man's senility would most definitely withhold tons of information from Heaven's Door, making it completely okay. Mr. Joestar's personal info would be kept safe and he would be earning a pretty penny from watching Rohan embarass himself. He couldn't ask for a better deal. It was also a good excuse to spend time with his estranged father, but he would never admit that.

The two stand users arrived at Trattoria Trussardi. They both noticed that a black limo was already parked outside, signaling that Joseph was inside waiting. While Tonio normally opened at lunchtime, he agreed to serve an exclusive breakfast slot when Josuke asked a week in advance. Walking inside, Joseph sat next to Shizuka at one of the few tables inside the small restaurant. He was helping her drink the freshly squeezed juice that Tonio prepared, made special with delicious blood oranges from Australia. The chef stood by the table, watching the exchange between them with a satisfied grin. "Ah, Josuke!" Joseph's eyes almost lit fully up, but he remembered the act he had to put up, "Oh, I see you brought a friend, too. Gohan, right?"

"Rohan." The mangaka corrected him matter of factly, with a hint of disgust. Everyone extended pleasantries with each other and Tonio departed to the kitchen to begin the first course. Josuke was immediately captivated by Shizuka. "Wow!" He exclaimed as he watched her pick up her sippy cup of juice and start chugging it like a salaryman would chug a tall beer after a triple shift, "Shizuka's getting big! I hope you aren't teaching her this kind of behavior."

_I can't believe this brat is scolding me for something like that__, _Joseph thought but kept to himself. "Haha, yes." The old man smiled, "She's even walking now, every so often. She's a little troublemaker."

This pleasant moment set Josuke up to let his guard down, "I see she's taking after her new parent, then." He smiled warmly at his father, but Rohan coughed, signaling that he was ready to begin.

Joseph didn't catch that at all, though. He was too happily blindsided by his son's comment. This moment was perfect. It couldn't get any better.

Rohan sketched some art on his napkin, the trigger that he would show Joseph to activate Heaven's Door, as Tonio walked out with a traditional Iranian breakfast dish to start the meal: naan bread with jam spread. Suddenly, a loud creak from outside the door sounded, catching everyone's attention. A period of silence followed, when a horrifying sight sent shivers down the spines of everyone at the table.

Two tall, cloaked figures squeezed inside from the keyhole of the door. Though it should be an impossible feat, these giants contorted their bodies through such a small hole. "What the fuck?!" Josuke was the first to yell. He could believe what he was seeing. Their faces and bodies were entirely hidden by dark brown robes. They were so tall, they probably even had Jotaro beat. One figure slowly approached the table while the other started walking to the windows, closing the shades on each of them until only the candles inside lit the room. Shizuka began to cry softly when the first figure was halfway to Josuke, everyone else was too scared stiff to move.

It stood immediately above Josuke now, and the other stood next to Tonio after closing the windows. It was in his personal space, as if it didn't even realize he was there. The other looked down at the high schooler. Josuke wasn't normally scared by goons like this, but he sensed something unreal, almost otherworldly. A powerful aura eminated from both of them, more powerful than either he or Rohan had ever sensed before. Joseph, on the other hand, was terrified more than either the chef, the baby, or the other two young men at the table.

He had felt this strength before.

The figure above Josuke finally spoke, in a deep voice, "Joseph... Joseph Joestar. We have returned. Tell us, what has happened... What have you done to Lord Kars?"

The tall figure removed his head shawl, revealing a manly, tattoed face, with buzzcut hair and long tassles hanging from his headband. His ethnicity was unrecognizable, as was his accent.

"And what on Earth did you do to your hair?"


	2. Chapter 2

"My... hair?" Josuke asked the tall man standing over him, his fear started devolving into irritation, "What's wrong with my hair, dude?"

The tall, tasseled man's face was slightly puzzled, but mostly maintained a stoic visage, looking like one of those buff 80's action stars. "It's shocking. I don't like what you've done with it."

"I agree." The other massive man removed his shawl, revealing another muscular and mysterious face. He had puffy, silver hair and a similar face tattoo, only his appeared as a cross on his face. Rohan noticed it sort of looked like Okuyasu's scars. The man continued, "It looks stupid."

The restaurant experienced a moment of silence, followed by a sudden and explosive rage emanating from Josuke. "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU SAY? I'LL FUCKIN' KILL YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!" Josuke swung his fist violently into the tasseled man's chest. As he did, his arm dove into his chest like it was butter and stopped the swing in its tracks. As a fight began to unfold, Shizuka, wrapped tightly in a quiet and protective Joseph's arms, and Rohan watched with silent excitement.

"Mm?" The tassled man seemed unfazed as his body trapped Josuke's arm within it. Josuke, still pissed, tried again with his free left fist, but it met the same body prison as the other. The young man thrashed around, trying to remove his arms, as his captor analyzed aloud in perfect Japanese. "You are very much alike to who we are looking for, but you are not him. Your fighting spirit is nearly identical, but now that I've seen what you've got to offer, and you haven't used hamon, it's clear as day. You're probably just one of his offspring, humans procreate like rats, after all. Half a century ago, I would've simply trampled you like an ant, but there's no point in that anymore. Give up and I will allow you your life."

Though he released Josuke, the student still didn't have his temper controlled. "CRAZY DIAMOND!" Josuke's stand shot out of his body with the speed of a bullet and struck the tasseled man across the nose, sending the facial feature smack into the door. He didn't move from his standing spot, but the man was almost knocked to the floor. He was surprised, feeling for his nose that was no longer there. Shizuka's tears stopped and were replaced with pleased giggling

The silver haired man started for Josuke, but the tasseled one raisedbs hand to stop him. "Please, master," he seemed to beg, "Allow me to deal with him. I offered him mercy, it was my mistake. Naturally, the offspring of the only man who could beat me could also land a blow upon my face. I shall give him a warrior's death."

"...Very well." The other man held back. As Crazy Diamond prepared another swing and the tassled man's hands began to spin, one old man stood up straight. He was keeping quiet this entire time, unsure if he should break the facade he had kept for so long, but Josuke's life was in danger. There was no hesitation. Shizuka was still in his arms, Joseph's cane fell to the floor. He took a tone that he hadn't in a decade, a side of him that many thought he lost to old age. "Quit it! Josuke, calm down and get back! Wamuu, touch a hair on his head and I'll kill you so hard you really won't return!"

The two hot heads immediately cooled down. The tasseled one that Joseph referred to as Wamuu backed off, having found who he was looking for. Josuke was torn from his blind rage by the shock of his father's reinvigoration. Wamuu, having completely forgotten about Josuke, walked right past him and right up to Joseph. The silver haired man also drew near. "Is it really you, Joseph Joestar? You've aged terribly. I thought you were some worthless old man. Now, I can sense your warrior's spirit. It really is you." His cohort snorted, "It's pitiful. Truly, humanity is vile."

"Of course it's me, I thought you pillar men were supposed to be all powerful, you really couldn't tell? I was sitting right here. Even you, Esidisi?" Joseph quizzed, turning to the other man, "Not to mention, how are you two here? I thought I killed you both?"

Joseph's rude remarks angered the silver haired man, Esidisi, "Shut up! Of course we wouldn't expect the human that beat us to be a pile of wrinkly skin taking up space. We'll be asking the questions, here! We came a long way here looking for you, so you better give us what we want or we'll digest your stupid mutt kid!"

"What the fuck is going on?" Josuke attempted to interrupt, but made no dent in the heated interaction.

"What is it exactly you want?" Joseph asked while walking over to Rohan, placing the baby in the mangaka's reluctant arms. "You ruined a nice breakfast with my son, yeah? I haven't got a lot of patience, so get it out and go back to hell promptly!"

The pillar men grumbled, insulted by Joseph's tone, but so honor-bound to their defeat a decade ago that Wamuu went straight to the point without further turmoil.

"Where is Lord Kars?"


	3. Chapter 3

"Kars?" Joseph smirked pretended to be absentminded to tick off his old foes, "Oh... oh yeah. We fought and I launched him into the stars. He's probably floating somewhere past Uranus by now."

"You lie!" Eisidisi roared. He charged toward the old man, but Wamuu stopped him. "Forgive me, Lord Wamuu. I will accept punishment for halting your attempt at retribution, however, it's exactly what he wants. If you were to touch JoJo now, you would disintegrate where you stand. I don't know what it is exactly, but I sense something. Like an electric fence that's charged with Hamon energy. As expected, he has a trap in the wait. Considering what he learned in a month all those years ago, it's only logical he would have become more powerful since."

It was true, Joseph had wrapped his body with his Hamon-infused Hermit Purple. Eisidisi was smart, but emotional. A sneaky trap like that would've killed the pillar man for good had Wamuu not stepped in. As much as Wamuu would have loved to try out Joseph's new moves, there was no way that aged human body could be as agile as a 20 year old's.

Eisidisi calmed and understood, "I sense what you're talking about now. Killing him would be a waste, anyways. No real fight in a depressing bag of wrinkly skin and dusty bones." He wrestled himself from Wamuu's grip and started walking to the other corner of the room, "I need to do something with these emotions. Just hurry up and get the information we need so I don't have to look at this dumb geezer for another second."

Joseph watched carefully as Eisidisi arrived at a far away table and sat with his face to the wall, quietly sobbing. Josuke and Rohan continued to watch in complete confusion and bewilderment. Shizuka, of course, was ignorant to everything and began to curiously paw at Rohan's earrings. Wamuu and Joseph watched Eisidisi cry for a moment, both silently regretting their faults in his tears, but met each other's gaze again with stoicism.

"I believe you, JoJo." Wamuu resumed, "Truly, if Lord Kars were to ever be defeated, it would've been you."

The two still tried for a strongman stare-off, but their gaze left each other in mutual defeat. Joseph's eyes went to the floor, Wamuu's to Josuke. "He looks like you." He said, "But is he as honorable a warrior as you?"

Joseph took a good look at Josuke and thought briefly of the events of the past summer. "I would say so. Quick tempered, sometimes a handful, but he's got a real heart of gold."

"So just the same, I see." The two enemies shared a brief smile as if they were old friends.

"Again," Josuke's voice strained, "What the fuck is going on? Who are you? Old man, where did this damn brain of yours come from?"

"Still more work to be done, though." Wamuu muttered and grimaced at Josuke's tone. He looked back to Joseph one last time, "JoJo, you know that we are not average vampires. It takes time to return, but as long as our ashes are still existing in the wind, we are bound to walk this Earth for eternity. Cursed, perhaps. We are the last of our kind, we always will be. There is no legacy for us if we cannot die or pass on ourselves to something else. I concede defeat to you once more. Treasure your legacy."

Without any further goodbye, Wamuu walked over to a recovered Eisidisi. They shared a whispered exchange, put their shawls on, and left the restaurant.

Silence lingered in the room, Shizuka had fallen asleep. Joseph picked her up tenderly from Rohan and rocked her gently.

"Old man..." Josuke started, but Joseph put a finger up to his lips to shush him.

"Yes, yes, yes." He whispered, "You're confused. I understand. Allow me to explain."

\--

For the next few hours, Josuke, Rohan, and eventually Tonio listened intently to Joseph's long story, gripped to each and every word. Meanwhile, Shizuka dreamed, warm in his arms.


End file.
